LESS IS THE NEW MORE!

When you look at your surroundings, does every item you see cause a small thrum of joy to run through you? 

Imagine what it would be like to know that behind every cupboard and within every drawer are only things that you love? No misshapen t-shirts, chipped bowls, that ceramic chicken your granny gave you, dishwasher manuals, pens that don’t work.  Everything you own brings pleasure.

E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

Every book, every box, every pot, every sock.

That is the promise – and the premise – of Marie Kondo’s best-selling treatise The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. As the book approaches 4 million copies sold in North America alone, clearly she is on to something with her vision of a pared-down, joy-filled life. Because, who doesn’t want that?

If you have the great misfortune to live under a bridge or with your head in a hole, it’s possible you haven’t heard of Marie Kondo.  She is the Japanese professional organizer who’s spent a lifetime creating and honing “The KonMarie Method” as a simple and efficient way to declutter your life.

How the KonMarie Method works:

You physically hold each item you own. You ask yourself: does it spark joy? If it does, you keep it. If it does not, or even if you hesitate about the answer, then you donate it or throw it out.

That’s it!

At first glance it might seem like this process would take forever, what with the actual handling of every, single thing in your possession. Because your rational brain is not involved in making decisions, however, you can move through stuff with surprising speed. The Method is founded on “feeling,” not “thinking.” The process is entirely intuitive. With none of the usual rationalizing to slow you down, there is no confusion about that utensil chime from your aunt Joan, for instance. If it doesn’t “spark joy” then it doesn’t matter who made it or where it came from: Get it out of your life.

Good, right? Less is the new more!

But here is what I was considering as I read Marie’s book: What if you extended the KonMarie Method beyond the physical stuff you own? What if you edited YOUR LIFE by the same means? What would it feel like if every client, friend, acquaintance and activity you engaged in caused a small leap of happiness within you?

“WHOA…” (the big-eyed-wonder “whoa,” not the slowdown “whoa”).

That’s what it would feel like.

A basic principal of The Method is that “letting go is even more important than adding.”  Marie is not about adding clever storage solutions, for example; she is about you getting rid of (joyless) stuff in the first place.

Organized clutter is still clutter - Corie Clark

Off and on through the years I've experienced a kind of free-floating dissatisfaction with my life. Ennui, as the philosophers say. Unable to put my finger on the source and in an effort to solve the problem, I think if I could just buy a new holiday trailer or learn to Flamenco dance or attract more people to my business that I would be happier. While it’s true that I might experience a zap of delight every time I stomp and clap to an Argentinian guitar solo, Marie Kondo suggests that perhaps, before adding something new, we get rid of a few things first.

Think of it as weeding the garden that is your life. An existential detox. Pare things down to only what brings you joy, and build on that.

Marie Kondo:  “there are only two reasons why we can’t let something go: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.” How’s this for truth: How you want to live is defined by what you want to keep in your life - physically and otherwise.

I have made far too many choices in my life out of either obligation and guilt (attachment to the past: “What will they think?/But John gave me that/did this for me”) and scarcity (fear of the future: I can’t break off this lousy relationship/fire this lousy client/get rid of this lousy blender). As we look at both the things we own and the people and activities in our lives, it is worthwhile, I think, to ask the motivation behind why they exist for us at all.

Does the work you do bring you joy? Not “my work brings me money which pays for my house, and my house brings me joy” rationalization, but an immediate “Yes my job makes me happy.”  If the answer is a flat “no,” then what can you do – what will ­you do -to challenge your “fear for the future” and transform your working life into something you love?

How about your friends? Your intimate relationships?  Is it obligation and/or guilt that keeps you connected or genuine pleasure? What would happen if you edited these relationships based solely on the amount of joy these associations generated?

Does the way you spend your time create joy? Does every volunteer commitment, social activity or hobby you have delight you even a little? Have a John Lennon moment with me here and imagine an organization or ball team or service agency you’re involved with where everyone is there because it makes them happy and they love it – and themselves – for being there. No martyrs, no complainer-heads, no grumpy-pants’, no resentful particIpants…

Whoa times two, amiright?

Yes, The KonMarie Method has limitations. Like any process for doing anything, it too is imperfect.

It is clear from reading her book that Marie is a single person living alone, for instance. This means she knows not the pain of sharing space with other people’s not-so-joy-inducing stuff (I have small children: there is actual garbage in my house that makes me crazy but makes them inordinately happy. Future art, don’t you know).

There is also the matter of talking to your stuff (like, out loud), which would be comedy gold if Marie wasn’t dead serious about the practice. Among other things, she herself takes a one-on-one moment to thank every item she has come in contact with in a day for its hard work. While I appreciate the exercise of gratitude, talking to my hairbands is a bit much.

And while I love the basic happiness-motivation premise of The Method, there are issues in terms of the sheer physical editing of your things.  It’s easy to see how throwing out your very useful vacuum cleaner, shovel or tax receipts, say, because they don’t really “spark joy” is kind of…dumb. Which is all to say, don’t throw discretion (or common sense) to the KonMarie winds.

Likewise in the bigger life picture, your in-laws, your ex or your biggest-paying client may not cause a thrill of pleasure to course through your being, but in most cases you can’t just cut them out of your life either. Compromise is part of the healthy human condition, after all.

Ultimately it’s the idea over the ideology of the KonMarie Method that interests me.

As we pore over our personal belongings, handling and feeling something about each item, Marie Kondo invites a literal experience of Socrates’ declaration that “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  She’s observed that people are dramatically altered as a result of the exercise; that when our lives are lean and each corner is beautiful (to us) we come into balance and a sense of contentment not just within our living spaces, but outside of them too.

Consider the KonMarie Method as a means of examining – and editing - the whole of your life. Free yourself or plan a way out from under those things, people and activities that create something less than joy in you.  Imagine that life.

Whoa.