NETWORKING MADE EASY (OK, EASIER)

A dad joke:

Did you know my great, great grandfather made his living as a commercial fisherman? Yeah. He was one of the family’s original Networkers.

Ba-dump-bump.

Thank you, thank you very much. I’ll be here all week…

Many of us would rather be out on a lake than schmoozing a room full of strangers. It’s often intimidating and awkward as we try to figure out where and how to start not to mention the dreaded “selling” of ourselves – but not too much, because that’s, you know, gross.

The reality for the career-minded though, is that getting ahead – finding new and bigger opportunities – is still at least as much about who you know as it is about what you know. Enter the importance of learning to network well. Because we don’t know who everyone else does, our best bet is to have genuine, useful relationships with as many people as possible in as many industries as possible.

Connections are key, and this is true in both your online and your offline worlds. If you think of people like fish, the wider you throw your “net” the more connections you capture, and presumably the better you can eat.

 

5 TIPS TO MORE SUCCESSFUL NETWORKING

1.     BE AUTHENTIC, BE YOURSELF, BE NICE

The Golden Rule applies here (as everywhere): treat others the way you would like to be treated. “Nice,” in this case, goes a long way.  

What makes people interesting is when they are interested: Be a generous, thoughtful listener. Smile. Be your goofy, funny self. Or your intense, driven self! The key is to not act like who you think a person would like, but who you really are. Because it doesn’t matter how great an actor you believe you are, if you are false, people will know. And you may not get a second chance to make a different (more authentic) impression.  Be real.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken -- Oscar Wilde

And don’t worry if you’re the youngest person in the room or have the least amount of experience, either. If you are interested, have a unique perspective and aren’t afraid to voice your opinion, you will be memorable and an inherently valuable asset to someone.

2.      THROW THE NET WIDE, NOT DEEP

Back to our "if you think of people like fish" analogy from the top: diving deep with your net does not catch as many fish as throwing one twice as wide.

For Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and co-founder of Ellevest, successful networking comes down to precisely this: think wide, not deep. This means connecting/networking with as many people as possible, without becoming everyone’s new best friend.

Of course you need to put yourself out there, but unless you have time to “grab a coffee” with every person you meet, becoming personal is not only unnecessary, but impractical.  “Loose connections are the connections you need,” says Krawcheck. She cites the example of a loose connection made nearly a decade earlier that led her to buy 85 Broads, a global women’s network, in 2014.

“Loose connections” can be a challenge for women whose natural inclination is often to personalize the experience of meeting someone new. As a general rule, it’s wise to keep your friendship and networking fishing holes separate.

In networking, the goal is to appear responsible, reliable and smart. This is clearly not the case in our friendships. Beware that crossing the friend/colleague boundary can undermine your professional efforts, especially if you veer into TMI territory: sex, politics, drinking – you get the idea.

ProTip: Limiting yourself to one glass of wine helps keep you on the business side of the pond.

3.  BE DIRECT

Research has shown that men and women network differently – and that men tend to have more measurable success at it.

The thing is, as Dave Barry says, fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish. So up your odds.

For women, “connecting” is often a goal in itself. This often means there is lot of talking. Lots. The fabulous handbag, the great hair cut, the Jamaican holiday, your last, crummy boss… you get the picture.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more strategic and goal oriented. They are more likely to enter a networking opportunity with clearly desired outcomes. They also tend to focus solely on their professional needs, resulting in less small talk and more “getting to the point.” Men simply ask for what they want.

Direct is good. This should not be confused with pushy, arrogant or aggressive, all of which will make you memorable for the wrong reasons.

Clarity of purpose – knowing your goal for an event, which can be as simple as “say hello and make memorable contact with 8 people - and clarity in your communications (a.k.a. getting to the point) are solid strategies for networking success.

4.      SELF-PROMOTION SUCKS

Whether you are networking online or off, connecting in a meaningful way with people means not treating every inquiry or introduction as a potential prospect.

Approaching everyone with a “how can this person help me,” attitude is a turn-off. And don't kid yourself: people know.  Be confident, but keep your ego in check. A little humility is always welcome.

The best promotion is never self promotion --Jeff Haden

Sonya Shelton, an executive coach and leadership consultant puts it this way: “Networking is about building relationships first, and if you’re authentic, the promotion is a natural evolution. Relationships of any kind are like a teeter totter. If one person keeps all the weight on their side, it’s not very much fun for anyone.”

Right. So how can you avoid sounding like a human billboard?  For starters, leave “me” out of the equation, unless it’s a specific question about your experience. For example, someone asks or writes looking for advice on how to manage a particular situation – say a bad boss. Respond without talking for 10 minutes about your own story and instead directly address the issue and offer actionable advice. By doing so you’re far more likely to become someone this person will not only speak highly of elsewhere, but someone they will add to their own network and communicate with again in the future.

Simply asking how you can be of service and networking from this vantage point - both in online environments like LinkedIn or Facebook, as well as offline - can often be enough to set you apart from the crowd. Be a thoughtful corner in a noisy room and the right people will take notice.

5.    FOLLOW UP

Toya Powell, founder of Bid Compliance Solutions likes to say “fortune is in the follow up.”

What she means is that it takes time to get to know someone, so invest a little. When Powell receives a business card, her policy is to follow up within 48 hours, always including a note with one or two value added points. She suggests always asking how you can assist too. “Once you get a response, help that person network or make another connection…at that point you have become a trusted point and contact and hopefully, top of mind for future opportunities.”

It's an old sales technique: Close Strong! Or in the case of musical theatre, “leave them humming a tune.”

And this: Don’t be possessive about your own network; it is not yours to own. Operate instead from a place of generosity. By offering up a new fishing hole to someone else there is a good chance you will be invited to a new one yourself. More, in this case, is always better.

WELL?

It’s good to have friends, but quality relationships plus strategy should be your networking goals in business.

Eventually everything connects - people, ideas, object. The quality of the connection is the key to quality per se.  --Charles Eames

As Judy Robiniett, author of How to Be a Power Connector says, successful men and women know that “other people have the answers, deals, money, access, power and influence you need to get what you want in this world.” 

And what about the word “network,” anyway? For many, the word itself causes stress. If that’s the case, semantics can be your friend. Think of it instead as “connecting,” because that is essentially all it is. Call it “being interested in people,” or “being friendly to friendly strangers,” and never underestimate the power of a positive attitude and enthusiasm either. This is great news for anyone who feels awkward or uncomfortable in these situations, because even if you think you “can’t network,” you know how to be interested and friendly!

What does this ultimately add up to? A networking story about woman who joyfully throws her net wide, catches a lot of fish, shares her bounty and lives successfully ever after.

Have a networking story or bit of wisdom of your own to share? I would love to hear about it!

additional sources:

Forbes Woman, Understanding How Women Network by Meghan Casserly

Forbes Woman, Are You Networking or Self Promoting

Small Business BC Blog by Lorna Van Straaten

Fast Company The Secrets to Successful Networking excerpted from The Most Connected Women