I recently met two guys in as many months at two different networking events. On the surface of things, they were pretty awesome: they both happened to be partners at a national law firm, were wicked-smart and had charm to spare.  Do I want to go out sometime? Why Yes I do!

Or not.

I’m no P.I. but it didn’t take much of a pre-date online search to discover in one case a long-time girlfriend and in another a long-time wife and children.

No, this isn’t the juncture where I declare that men suck or they’re all liars and cheats. I’m totally willing to concede this might just be true for lawyers.

As you bring your best stuff to the front shelf, dating is nothing if not an exercise in personal marketing. You engage a prospect, differentiate youself in the marketplace and crytallize your value proposition before (hopefully) closing the proverbial sale. I know: laying it out this way is super romantic.

It’s not news that personal branding is as important as professional or corporate branding. By “personal brand” I mean the stories, characteristics and values that taken as a whole set you apart from the crowd, causing a person to choose you over someone else. What may be news is that you’re creating a personal brand all the time, every day, whether you like it or are aware of it or not. Given this, the wise thing is to be conscious and create your reputation on purpose.

You create an impression of who you are with everyone you encounter. Every interaction you have both in person and online builds on this impression. Between the choices you make in the “real world,” and every “share,” Facebook or Instagram post online, you add to the pile of impressions. In its entirety, this is your brand.

Your personal brand is what people say about you when you're not in the room - remember that. - Chris Ducker

If content is the fuel with which corporate and personal reputations are built, then social media is the engine. It’s worth it to take the time to get the details right on all your social media profiles.  You will be judged. Make sure what's out there is accurate and consistent with your personal brand standards.  At the very least, dial up the privacy controls across media if there's something you'd rather people not know (like that you have a wife or girlfriend, perhaps?) or if you're partial to non-norm predilictions or have friends who've got them. Associations, in this case, also matter. While you may not indulge in a sexy pudding bath yourself, the ducklip pics of your pals in the thick of it may not do you any professional favours.

It’s well known that clients, employers (and potential romantic partners) all search public profiles as part of the consideration process. They’re checking to see if you're what and who you say you are.  And you’ll never know you didn’t get the job due to your association with pudding bathers...

It's important to build a personal brand because it's the only thing you're going to have. You're reputation online and in the new business world is pretty much the game, so you've got to be a good person. - Gary Vaynerchuk

For corporations caught out of integrity the consequences are steep. Think Volkswagen and the recent “emissionsgate” scandal. The company endured multiple regulatory investigations, the CEO resigned, their stock price fell by a third and perhaps most damaging of all is the erosion of consumer trust in the Volkswagen brand.

The consequences for us personally can be equally grave, like not getting the job for sketchy associations or questionable online posts. Once on the job, your personal reputation is always a reflection of your employer who wants to neutralize negative exposure. I’ve known of elementary school teachers fired after posting partying selfies, for instance. 

You’re in control of how you’re perceived by potential clients, future bosses and yes, even future dates, so clearly you want to expose and promote the best of yourself. You get to decide what people know about you. In this way, personal branding is an act of public self-creation. Take the care required to make the right impression.

For other obvious reasons, you also want w to be as honest and as authentic as possible. This means consistency across media and in person such that wherever someone encounters you, it resonates as the real you. Don’t kid yourself: you are not smarter than everyone else and if you're shucking, jiving or simply lying, you will be found out. Never mind that the most exhausting thing you can be in inauthentic. Just ask anyone who's done it.

If we think about beloved brands like Apple, Starbucks or Nike, what ultimately drives our loyalty is the same thing that drives all our important relationships: trust. Corporations build trust by consistently delivering on their promises – that is, they're always who and what they say they are.

You might say my lawyers, for all their apparent brilliance, spectacularly failed Personal Branding 101.

Where they did get it right is differentiation. In personal branding as in corporate, you want to position yourself in unique ways in order to stand out. These two were all that, each with their unusual legal specialization and equally curious and exceptional personal stories. The problem is that differentiation isn’t a stand-alone marketing strategy. Integrity is key. If and when it’s discovered that your character or values don’t line up with your messaging and you can't, in fact, deliver, it won't matter how distinctive you are, there’s a good chance the fans you lose will never come back. Or worse.

On the other hand, when your personal brand is consistent, unique and authentic, it can be used to successfully consult, freelance, drive more traffic and trust to the company you work for or win the best girl in the place.  If you don't consciously build it for yourself, others will build it for you - people "out there" are creating your personal brand, even as you read this. Ensure you're controlling the conversation. Your professional and private life depends on it.